Tekken Rugby
by space-monkey1
Summary: This is a crazy idea I had, what about a Tekken RUGBY tournament? Hopefully better than it sounds... honest!
1. Chapter 1

TEKKEN RUGBY?...............ok........  
By space-monkey  
.  
.  
.  
.  
*reads off card held up by Namco legal executive*   
I do not own Tekken, Namco does, in addition, I promise that when I am a multi-millionaire, Namco can have all my mone...... hey I am NOT gonna say that!  
.  
.  
.  
.  
  
Chapter One  
  
Tekken rugby? Are you sure about this?  
Four months after the fourth "King Of Iron Fist" tournament, Heihachi was taking a well-earned break. He had come out victorious, as the final competitor, Lee, had failed to show up on time. Apparently he just had to try on that last purple suit, and he had been too late... Heihachi still wondered how Lee had made it to the finals.   
  
Anyway, today was a day for "relaxation" as his doctor had ordered, and so here he was, sitting by his pool, having the day's newspapers read to him by one of his butlers:  
  
"and in other news sir, it seems your son, Lee, has made it into the paper again"  
  
"great, what's he up to this time?"  
  
"it appears he caused a disturbance at a women's fashion show recently"  
  
Heihachi shakes his head and mutters  
  
"geez, I wonder what I was smoking when I took him in......"  
  
"indeed sir, well is that all then?"  
  
"yes, off you go Smedley" (A/n: yes I know, SMEDLEY!)  
  
As Heihachi's butler walks off, he turns on the radio and lies back in the sun  
  
"...our second part in the three-part look at Heihachi Mishima, possibly the wealthiest man in the world, starts in just a few seconds"  
  
Heihachi sits up with a big cheshire cat grin on his ageing face as he hears this  
  
"ahh, the public, they still love me!"  
  
- duh nah nah - "welcome to our program about Heihachi Mishima, possibly the world's wealthiest and best known man"  
  
Heihachi leans back with a grin on his face  
  
"ah, good, good"  
  
"however, in recent years we have seen a decline in the status of this financial and physical dynamo"  
  
"WHAT!!!!!!!"  
"his age has begun to take a visible toll on him, as he appears to age more day-by-day, and in his latest tekken tournament, he emerged victorious but only through default, as the other competitor, his adopted son, failed to show up on time"  
  
"WHAT, WHAT, WHAT!!!!! I WOULD HAVE MURDERED THAT LITTLE BRAT LEE, AND WHAT DO THEY MEAN HE AGES MORE EVERY DAY... well, maybe I do, BUT I WOULD HAVE WHOOPED LEE SO BADLY, PEOPLE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIS FACE AND THAT OF A ROADKILL VICTIM!!!!"  
  
Heihachi jumps up and storms into his house, electricity flowing down his arms, and earthing itself in the ground.  
  
"SMEDLEY!!!!"  
  
His butler quickly scuttled into sight, eyes averted from his furious boss  
  
"Y-yes sir?"  
  
"Ring my P.R people, call the press, ring the branch mangers!!!"  
  
"W-why sir?"  
  
"Because Smedley, I am going to PROVE to the world that I, HEIHACHI MISHIMA am still the most POWERFUL being on the planet... we are going to have another tournament"  
  
With these words, Heihachi stormed off down his marble paved hallway, leaving cracks in the floor, and a wide-eyed Smedley behind him.  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
So, what do you think? Good? Bad? Should I really give all my money to Namco?  
Review and let me know ok? 


	2. Chapter 2

TEKKEN RUGBY?...............ok.........  
By space-monkey  
  
I don't own Tekken and I don't claim to, but if I did you can be damn sure I'd make them bring out a new Tekken game more often than once every few years :(  
  
Author's note: Ok, well I'm sorry about chapter one, I was still kind of "finding my feet" but now that I've found them, I'm gonna weld them onto my legs......anyway, on with the story!  
Chapter Two  
  
Think of the children, won't somebody please think of the children!  
Heihachi had announced his "King Of Iron Fist" tournament number five to the world. There were adverts for it on every billboard and tv channel in the world, after all, being a financial giant helps get you attention.  
Heihachi had invited the selected competitors to his "ultra-secret-super-hidden" meeting room, the one with the large sign outside it saying "you are not here", in the hopes of confusing people who hadn't been told the secret of the door (which was that you really ARE here).  
So, sitting in the big plush chairs that he had flown in specially for this meeting, were Kazuya, Jun, Jin, Lee, Hwoarang, Julia, Xiaoyu, Bryan, Paul... basically every Tekken character except Devil, Angel and Gon (can you imagine him trying to play rugby?)  
  
"Hello, I am sure that you all know why I have gathered you here today-" began Heihachi, rising from his seat  
  
"Is it because you need more volunteers to change your diapers?" called out Kazuya, to the amusement of everyone but Heihachi  
  
"NO! I have an issue to discuss with all of you-" said Heihachi, trying to quiet down the room  
  
"Good for you old man, finally coming out of the closet are ya?" called Kazuya again  
  
Around the room the stifled laughter of various fighters could be heard  
  
"NO! WILL YOU SHUT UP KAZUYA!!!" yelled Heihachi, "I have gathered you here today to tell you, I am going to hold another tournament"  
  
"Wow, that's a shocker, with all the adverts outside I would never have guessed that" said Hwoarang in a very sarcastic tone of voice.  
  
"Yes, well, anyway, I thought I should tell you the next tournament is going to be held in a week"  
  
"ONE WEEK!" shouted Paul, that's hardly enough time for me to get my hair up!  
  
Everyone in the room looks at Paul  
  
"Well it does, I happen to take time over my appearance - unlike some of you" said Paul, lovingly stroking his hair and looking at Hwoarang.  
  
"Hey, you want some of this, punk!?" said Hwoarang, jumping up to Paul  
  
"Well, he does have a point you know Rang, I mean what, didn't you have time to change out of your army gear when you escaped?" said Julia  
  
Hwoarang sits back down, blushing slightly "well, I thought you would like a man in uniform Julia"  
  
"......now that's just WRONG Hwoarang" said Jin, staring at Hwoarang.  
  
"Will you all just shut up for a second!" shouted Kazuya, standing up and looking at Heihachi "look old man, maybe your memory is failing in your old age, so I'll give you a gentle reminder, it takes MONTHS to get into shape for a tournament like this, one week just isn't enough time!".  
  
"But I thought you stayed in shape all the time Kazzy" said Anna, smiling seductively at him   
  
"Hey, give me a break will you? I just discovered Italian food!" said Kazuya, while Jun gave the look of death to Anna.  
  
"Look, will you all stop bickering!" shouted Heihachi "I am holding the tournament in one week's time because... well.. I feel that I am beginning to age-"  
  
"So it's finally sunk in eh?" said Kazuya "but it's ok old man, not everyone stays looking as young and healthy as me you know"   
  
"......err, anyway, I want another tournament as soon as possible, partly to stop the rumours that I am an ageing old fartbag, as some people have been telling the press" at this Heihachi glares at Kazuya "and partly because, well, I feel my time is near, and I want another tournament to prove that... I will miss you all..." Heihachi starts getting all teary-eyed and around the room, sniffles can be heard, even Kazuya looks sombre  
  
"Awww, the poor old man" whispered Julia to her mother "you know, for a heartless scheming, evil guy, he's actually quite sentimental"  
  
"MISS KICKING YOUR BUTTS ALL DAY LONG THAT IS!!!!" shouted Heihachi suddenly  
  
"I take back what I just said" whispered Julia, with a drab look on her face.  
  
"So, the tournament is in one week, you don't attend and my Tekkenshu will execute you!" with this, armed members of Heihachi's private goon squad, the tekken force, rush into the room.  
  
"But Heihachi, we really do need more than one week to get back in shape for another Tekken tournament, can't you think of something else?" moaned Xiaoyu  
  
"How about we bowl again?" suggested Gun Jack  
"NO!" screamed everyone else  
  
"That was way unfair, you had the little targeter-thingy to help you!" said Julia  
  
"Hmmm, how about tennis?  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Football?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"C'mon people, we need something that's really physical, but requires very little in the way of training" said Heihachi  
  
"What about Rugby?" said Steve, speaking for the first time.  
  
"Rugby? What the hell is that?" asked Christie  
  
"Good lord girl, you mean you don't know what Rugby is?" asked Steve, taken aback  
  
".........well, I bet YOU don't know what it is either!"  
  
"Look, if I didn't know what it was, then why would I...... oh forget it" said Steve, exasperated  
  
"No go on, tell us" said Heihachi, intrigued by this 'rugby' (A/n: Let's just pretend that he doesn't know ok?)  
  
"Well basically, it's like American football-"  
  
"Great, I love that!" said Jin, happy that they were actually going to do something HE liked for once.  
  
"-except without the helmet, padding, and protective gear"  
  
Jin's face fell "oh, not so great then"  
  
"It's PERFECT!!!" beamed Heihachi, delighted at the idea of this brutal sport "ok, then, I hereby announce the first ever 'Tekken Rugby' tournament!" and with that he left the room  
  
"Did he even say where it would be?" asked Jun, puzzled  
  
"Oh great, come on, we better catch up to him" said Kazuya, running out of the room and motioning the others to follow.  
  
As the other fighters left the room, Jun tapped Anna on the shoulder  
  
"Anna?"  
  
"Yes Jun?" asked Anna politely  
  
"Just a friendly heads-up, if you ever call my husband 'Kazzy' again, I will tear out your lungs and use them for bagpipes, ok?" said Jun, ending with a broad happy smile and walking off after Kazuya, leaving a shocked Anna to stare after her.  
*********  
So, whaddya think?  
By the way, some of the ideas for this fic are taken from "tekken paintball tournament" by Makaveli, I love your fics! And I hope you don't mind me using them for a bit of inspiration ok?  
  
Tell me what you think, review! 


End file.
